“Lower your expectations, and keep an open mind about what a holiday should look like.”

by Rachel Wilkerson Miller and Clare Schneider/NPR

“Even if you know, intellectually, that the holidays are not actually ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ (and can, in fact, be incredibly stressful), coping with feelings of loneliness, guilt, anger, and despair during the month of December can be very challenging. And thanks to the ongoing pandemic, a lot of people are feeling bad right now. The news is bleak, pretty much everyone is stretched thin, and comfort and joy are in short supply, making it that much harder to muster the energy to celebrate — or even to reach out and ask for help.

“To better understand how to cope with this extra-rough holiday season, I spoke to Andrea Bonior, a psychologist and author of Detox Your Thoughts: Quit Negative Self-Talk for Good and Discover the Life You’ve Always Wanted. Here are some of her best tips.

“Our celebrations are likely going to look and feel different (or even…bad) this year — we’re living through a pandemic, after all. ‘I think it really is a matter of understanding that this is going to be subpar no matter what,’ Bonior says. ‘That there’s no way to get everything in a digital format… that you would get if you were in person. There’s no way to not sacrifice certain things.’

“’I think the first step is to throw out the rulebook,’”

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